Saturday, July 9, 2011

The fine line between want and need

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Just look at that! That could be me - skinny with a chic haircut. Not. But that book could be in my hand at least.

And that's totally Thom. With the collared sweater and that bigger than perfectly flat tummy and lots of pencils in the bag. Ain't he charming and totally smokin'? (No, you can't have him! Ha ha!)

How I would love a cake topper with books all around the figures!

I think cake toppers totally symbolize the life that you are meant to have. That is why mine is gonna be the bride and the groom sitting on the cake, the guy feeding the girl cake. That's the way I'm gonna make sure that my marriage is whoopingly successful.

Cake is believed to have the capacity to solve all of the known and unknown problems of mankind. That's why Marie Antoinette said ' Let them eat cake' when informed about the plight of the French peasants. But everyone thought that she was being uppity and went right on and started the French Revolution. Now if only they had listened to Mme. Marie and just eaten some cake. The world would have been a different place. (I'm in the same plight actually. Everyone thinks I am absolutely unprepared for marriage even though I have the mightiest weapon in my arsenal - cake! I dare you to prove me wrong.)

Anyhoo, this cake topper is from this adorable Etsy shop called 'Lace and Rubbish'. (I know! What a sassy name!) They've got lots of cute cake toppers there. I suggest that you look and lech and leer and stare and lasciviate (maybe that's not a word). That's what I did. And it's my burning fantasy that the world be full of clones of me.

And now look at this.

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I don't know why I fell madly in love with these ladies but I do have a sneaking sinking suspicion that maybe it's because they remind me of myself doing that Sarvangasana. (That's the shoulder stand, by the way.)

And yes, you should be impressed with my knowledge and skill in Yoga.

But these ladies look so oblivious and blissed out that I instantly feel like doing an inverted stand myself, which I can assure you, is a need I have never ever felt previously.

And last but definitely not least, I NEED this.

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I have too many enemies that I need to shoot down and I think I've waited too long. They are breeding and multiplying and soon, I fear that the world will be full of them. A pretty gun will do the trick though.

I'll go to them, point it at the back of their head, pull the trigger and BAM! They won't know what hit them.

But it will actually be a blast of hot air.

'Coz it's a hair drier!

How fancy is that!

I want I want I want. 

3 comments:

  1. So I am pretty sure that you are roughly ten light years smarter than me, but can we be friends in real life? I can be your stupid American friend. And you can come visit me and I will come visit you and we can just eat junk food and laugh the entire time. Your blog brings a lot of laughter into my life.

    I think I just went distant bloggy friend to creepy stalker. I did, didn't I? Sorry.

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  2. OMG Meg, I don't know how to respond to this without sounding utterly self deprecating, fake, servile or arrogant. All I can say is that I grinned from ear to ear for about an hour after I read what you said and that it took me around 2 hours to respond.

    And of course we should be friends and also visit each other. I'm not saying this coz you told me the same thing but your blog makes me laugh a LOT too. A LOT. So we would def. have a lotta fun and eat junk food.

    You should come to crazy, mad, insane India and eat raw fish and I'll come to your desert and we can paint the town green alright?

    And please note, if you are stalkerish, I am more like you than you could possibly know!

    Sorry if I'm being creepy too.

    :)

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Thank you so much for being here. You must know that I love reading your comments more than I love the idea of baby bunnies eating frosted cupcakes sitting atop a cloud. They make me happy when skies are blue, yellow, pink or grey. ♥