Thursday, June 23, 2011

Why I wish someone would do a Case Study on me


1. I think that I am my most beautiful when I have a face pack on. It's almost as if I can perceive a transformation and feel a new beauty creeping up on the inside. (Inside of the mask, I mean. On my skin.) That is why sometimes when I wash the mask off I get genuinely shocked that nothing has changed. But as you can see, hope is really all that defines my life.

2. I am a compulsive imperfectionist and I have mastered this art to perfection. (Oxymoron?) I can't handle neatness or perfection. Everything needs to bear an insignia of quirkiness. Psychoanalyze me!

3. If you gave me a choice between
a. listening to the audio while watching a movie and
b. reading the subtitles with the audio muted while watching the movie,
I would anyday choose the latter. There are so many movies that I have entirely read and watched, rather than listened and watched. I would like to think that this is because of my superiorly wise and enlightened soul that prefers silence and stillness over sound, music and chatter. Or am I just stranger than fiction?

4. I don't like it when things, pleasant or unpleasant, end. I miss toothaches when they go. I stay up every night till 5:00 AM because I want to continue staying up and sleep till 1:00 PM because I want to continue sleeping. I never like leaving home, even though I love travelling more than anything in the world, and after I leave, I never want to get back. Some days I eat around 6 mangoes and nothing else, while other days are of 2 liters of coffee and some change.When I drink water, I drink about 2 liters in one shot and then dont drink water for 6 hours until I feel bone-curlingly thirsty. I enjoy starvation as much as I do indulgence. I can play a song 25 times on repeat and still want more. If I start a book, I have to finish it as quickly as humanely possible and then I go through periods of no contact with literature. I hate change but I am also the most impulsive, reckless, pleasure seeking person I know. How is this possible? It can't just be my laziness acting up, can it? Or am I just an overgrown child? In either case, I can't do mediocrity or balance.

5. Usually when I drink Port, I get so marveled and enamored by the taste of it that I go into a deeply meditative state of existence, much akin to what the hallowed psychologist Abraham Maslow called 'Peak Experience'. (In these moments, I also feel elegant and classy and very very Audrey Hepburnish.) I swirl the wine around in my mouth and feel every driblet and smidgen of the taste intrinsic to it. I invariably forget to breathe, choke on the wine, and shockingly uncharacteristic of my gracefulness, let out a huge spray that always accompanies coughing, and splatter wine all over myself. This is the reason that I have preciously few clothes that are untainted.  (I feel inclined to tell you at this juncture that I wear impeccable clothes when I do my wine tasting sessions. I need this ritual to feel elegant because I am subconsciously aware that I need all the help I can get to achieve this end.)

6. There is a mattress that incongruously lies in the living room in front of the TV. (He is here because I threw him out of my room due to his infidelity and my mother refuses to take him in and share her bed with yet another mattress.) Yesterday, I woke up from my sleep with an insatiable lust for mangoes, and while tiptoeing to the kitchen in the dark to mollify my yearning for this forbidden fruit, I tripped on the mattress and fell straight onto it as if I was prostrating on it. It was one of those defining moments in my life. (If you must know, it was defined by unabashed humour, an impeccable sense of comic timing and the holy presence of God. How else does one trip and fall flat onto a mattress?) You could even say that this was another 'Peak Experience'.

7. 3 out of 4 times when try to I drink something out of a bottle, I knock my front teeth with the bottle accidentally as I bring the bottle towards my mouth. As a result, my two front teeth are loose and have been threatening to fall off for years. Is this an illustration of my seriously compromised hand - eye coordination or is this normal? Are you like this too?

If you must know, I took the Greeks very seriously when I heard that they had carved 'Know Thyself' onto the walls of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, as a message to peers and posterity. That is the only reason why I need to know how high / low my strangeness rating is.

And now, in the same vein, I leave you with this.


  1. u r so funny! And u are so sweet! Im sure Thomas will have a lovely time studying the wonder that is you :))

  2. Oh my God! Sarah. You are the sweetest, do you know that?


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