Friday, June 10, 2011

Trends from a 'big, fat slob'

I don't know when the 'chipped nail polish trend' first came to be, but the earliest article that I could find on it is from May 22nd 2008 in NY Times.

And of course, it was reported in Cosmo India as the latest and greatest  trend some time around September last year. (If there is one singular 'trend' in India, it is that things become 'trendy' around 2 years after they become trendy in the US. There is no known documented proof of exceptions to this rule. And I like to call this rule, 'The Rule of Two Thumbs'.)

I think this trend is the most awesome, ingenious trend that there ever has been in the history of civilization. Of course, I choose to ignore the trendist's (I like making up my own words, alright? It's really my only flaw.) caveat that chipped nails must be accompanied by symbols and vestiges of perfection in the form of sleek hair, Chanel scarves or Birkin bags, because otherwise you are just a 'big, fat slob.' (And hey. I resent the adjectives 'big' and 'fat' that are always present before 'slob'. As if slim and skinny people can't be slobs!)

But anyways, the 'slob' in me is happy that I don't have to keep fussing over my nails, the fashionista in me is happy that I am always 'in trend' and the anti consumerist in me is happy that I don't have to consume as much nail polish.

Now I am hoping that some other trends will seriously catch on. (I am even considering a job in an influential magazine / newspaper so that I can just put these fetchin' trends out there.) They would include

1. Super messy rooms
2. Upper lip hair
3. Belly fat
4. T-shirts torn at their seams
5. T-shirts with toothpaste marks on them (this one's got so much zing and personality to it!)
6. Jiggly upper arms
7. Unshaped eyebrows
8. Broken shoes
9. Cell phones with keypad buttons missing
10. Balding spots on the head
11. Multiple empty earring holes
12. Wordority - Authority to make up your own words as long as they make sense
13. Upper lip hair
14. Upper lip hair
15. Upper lip hair

Imagine how convenient life would be!

I need these to be trends. I may just be tired of being a 'big, fat slob.' I am ready to be trendy NOW.


  1. hahaha! I cant stop laughing! I so much want all those to be trendy too! I can save money and annoyingly boring and painful trips to the beauty parlour :) I would also like unwaxed arms and legs to be in the list :)

  2. Oh you know what, I don't even bother with my arms and legs. The key is to stay covered at all times. but if I do become a 'trendist', I will make sure that I cover 'waxing' as well. :)


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