Monday, May 16, 2011

The long shortlist

So of late, I've been researching quite a bit online about messages to engrave on Thom's wedding band and the ones that met my scrupulous standards and have reached the 'short' list are as follows.

1. 'Resistance is futile' - This would be fruitful on 2 counts - one, as the obvious message to Thom, and the other, as a reminder to me right before I hand over the ring and along with it, my singledom, that to resist it would be futile. I can't say that I would never need that last boost of courage (especially considering that a swig of whiskey right before the deed would be disallowed at church.), considering that I have been known to have a slight case clammy feet regarding getting married.

2. 'No more diets for me!' - Because that would truly be my overriding thought post the wedding.

3. 'Pull my ring finger' - If you cant convince them, confuse them.

4. 'For Whither Thou Goest I Will Follow' - As a tribute to what I am absolutely top class at: Stalking.

5. 'Love, honour, obey' - Because this one's really funny. Obey... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

6. 'Take me' - Take me to the mall. Also, take me to Madagascar.

7. 'The best things are free' - Thank God you're there to buy me everything else.

8. 'Yours truly, pepperoni pizza' - Because pepperoni pizza is Thom's favourite food after a rump steak and I refuse to call myself a rump steak. If I call myself something more becoming, like muffin or sugar plum, these would be way below in his favourite food list and the purpose would be vitiated.

9. 'You are my water' - Refer the above point.

10. 'Worth the wait' - At least, it better be! Because sometimes you need to say it to see it. (Refer to 'The Secret' or to the upper right hand corner of this blog where the 'Notes from the Universe' keeps popping up.

11. Shine and gravity - Because that describes me : Shiny skin from frantically working sebaceous glands and excess gravitational pull due to increased weight. (At least I am self aware!)

12. 'Don't even think about it' - You know why, right? Because you need to take the ring off to read this and you better not be takin' it off! (Sorry. Some people need it elucidated. Not you, some other people.)

13. 'My one & only home run' - Because I suck at sports, this one would actually be 100% accurate. I like accuracy, truthfulness, straightforwardness and transparency, but you know that already.

14. 'You are so beautiful' - Oh yes you are. Oh yes you are. No, you are. No, you are. Oh yes I am.

15. 'Remember, I've broken most of my bones. I can break yours too.' - Oh yes I can.

16. 'Mine, mine, all mine' - 'Because possession is the ultimate thrill.

17. 'Wuv woo wots' - Because I am cute. Oh yes I am.

18. 'I'm diggin' me diggin' you' - Now beat that!

19. 'She walks in beauty' - Yep, that's me. Walking in beauty.

20. 'To have and to hold, to save and to scold' - I swear, I made this one up myself. Appropriate, if nothing else.

21. 'Through thick and thicker' - Literally and figuratively.

22. 'Have you lost it yet?' - Because it is encouraging to know that you have come so far and nice to know that there is someone who understands the difficulty of it all.

I also read somewhere that you could engrave a quote from the first movie that you saw together. Proceed with caution regarding this. If the first movie you saw together was Kill Bill (like us), you most definitely wouldn't want to be engraving this:

The Bride: It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it comin'. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.

Or this.

The Bride: When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? 

Or this.

The Bride: Go home to your mother! 

Or this.

The Bride: Hard part's over. Now let's get these other piggies wiggling. 

Actually, I kind of like the last one. Which one do you think I should choose?


  1. What about taking a leaf from the Miranda Rights? "Anything you say can and will be used against you." Congrats on the wedding!

  2. You know what, I might just actually have to use that! If I do, I'll make sure I engrave your name too. that should make it even more special!


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