Monday, May 23, 2011

Correlation and Causation

Tirunelveli, the heartland of hinterland Tamil Nadu, is where I was last week.

Now Tamil Nadu is God's own country if 'country' is defined by the people it makes up. (Kerala has bestowed upon itself the moniker 'God's own country' in reference to its natural beauty, but unfortunately this does not find any reflection in the niceness of the people here.) But I have always maintained that the nicest people in the world are Tamilians. I have come to this conclusion after extensive quantitative and qualitative research on the Indians, the United States of Americans (Wouldn't 'Americans' have to include all North and South Americans? I have had no interaction with Argentinians, Mexicans or Bolivians. Hence I specify that I am talking about the 'United States of Americans'.), the Canadians, the English people, the Germans, the Italians, the French, the Arabs, the Pakistanis, the Taiwanese, the Australians and the Ching Chongs. And my conclusion is open to contention. 

And guess who else is from Tamil Nadu... my dear departed doggie Leo. 

Oh. And Thom. He is also from Tamil Nadu, Tirunelveli to be precise. 

Mother Teresa is probably the nicest person ever but she is not from Tamil Nadu. (Hence proved that correlation does not imply causation. Or something like that. I am in no way fit to talk about smart things.)

So Thom's sister got married last Friday and I went there to attend her wedding, meet his insane extended family and also extend an olive branch to his immediate family with whom I had not spoken to since I kinda called off Version 1 of our wedding (intended to happen in Nov 2010).

And now I have a few equations for you that will bring clarity to this whole thing. 

No wedding happening in the family = Thom and me fighting + Thom's parents and me fighting + Thom and my parents fighting + Thom and his parents fighting + my parents and me fighting.

The cheer and spirit surrounding a wedding = No fighting. 

And like I said earlier, because correlation implies causation, (Or maybe I stated the reverse, but like I have always maintained, nothing is permanent but change.) I am inclined to conclude that weddings can make everything alright. I thought it would take a miracle for Thom's family to ever smile at me again, but I was wrong. All it took was a wedding. Now I'll just have to ensure that I produce enough offspring to have a wedding every two years after 18 years for the next 60 years. (How many kids would that be?) Until then, I'll just go live in Corfu away from everyone. 

And I am officially writing a sequel to Gerald Durrell's 'My family and other animals'. It will be called 'Our families and other animals' and you can very well guess what I will be writing about. 

Happy Camping! 

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