Thursday, May 12, 2011

The angry young woman

I never went through an angry teenager phase. I was pretty cheery and well adjusted and content with all that I had and not embarrassed about how uncool my parents were (maybe 'coz they were and still are way cooler than me!). But I think I've totally turned into an angry adult in the last month or so.

I am angry about a lot of things including the chemical structure of my hair, the political structure of my country, the size of my feet, how the tissues in my house all smell of this ridiculous Arabic perfume called 'Oud', Osama Bin Laden's life and death, the end of 24, Prison Break and Lost (all pretty much at the same time, that too!), my mother's need to control my driving, my father constantly cancelling his trips to India, Thom not buying me slinky red boots and my brother giving me an almost permanent silent treatment.

There are plenty more things that I am angry about (read stark, raving, red hot fury, spewing fire mad!). But most of them are deep dark secrets that would blow your mind if you heard them and also make you want to worship me for being so brave and persevering and not turning mental till now. And because I get shy and blushy with too much praise and adoration, I will not divulge these dirty dark secrets at this juncture. But I'm planning to come out with a tell-all book soon and I'll send y'all copies, post which I plan to disappear into thin air to a villa in Ibiza.

But when I get so angry that I  feel like my brain has started frying from the increased number of electrical impulses circuiting through it, I take out a math text book and work through the chapters. It's my new meditation technique. I wish I had discovered this when I was in school and struggling to pass math. But then again, because I wasn't an angry teenager, it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference. This trick works like such a charm that within a few hours my pulse rate goes back to 72 beats per minute and the noradrenaline starts to kick in.

So for all you parents who are fretting bout your child's refusal to study, I have a very obvious solution for you: Turn them into angry children - be as unfair to them as you possibly can, take away all their privileges and rights and give them all your duties. The deed will be done before you know it because as you know, children have a short fuse. And then offer them the solution for it in the form of their math textbooks. Tell them that they will experience peace with it like none other. You can even show them this post for proof if they don't buy your proposed solution.

As always, thank you for listening and not judging!

Dizzy Lizzie

2 comments:

  1. lol! what a great idea! Wish I had known about this when I was doing my engg... I could've become a much better engineer... oh well!!! too late! The only math I do these days is to calculate how much change I need to get back after buying something. I guess that's why shopping is also a good stress-buster - because of all the math involved!

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  2. Sarah! I laughed out so loudly when I read out that my mom came running! That is just brilliant you know! And a good excuse to take the stress busting formula forward into areas that might actually make one happy.

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