Thursday, January 20, 2011

On babies

1. It is absolutely ironic that babies get so much attention and love and mollycoddling and adulation and sycophancy at an age when they do not comprehend anything, and this progressively decreases as their understanding increases. Thus, while a baby has everyone crooning over how adorable and lovely and perfect he or she is around 86 times a day and it does not mean too hoots to him, the mother of the child, at the age of 25 or so hears it maybe once a week. And I'm guessing that my 50 year old mother hears it even less! And with our sense of self that flag with age and deteriorating perceptions of our beauty and worth, we are the ones who need to hear it, not the babies! Can you imagine the hit it would take on the cosmetic industry if we talk to adults like we do with babies?

2. The sense of stillness that overpowers you while simply holding a baby is comparable to none. It lulls your senses and eases your heart and your brain activity is in theta waves as your mind shifts instantly to daydream mode. It is the most meditative feeling. Of course, the disclaimer is that the baby is not crying.

3. A crying baby can grate your nerve or break your heart like none other!

4. Simply being with a baby for 3 days at a stretch can either convince you that you need to have a baby right away and that you are completely ready for the responsibility or that the last thing you need in your lifetime is a child to boot. This decision is more dependent on the baby and the activities you indulged in than who you are as a person. I'll bet that a weekend of changing the diapers of a crying baby would get anyone running off in any direction if it promises a getaway from the baby.

5. A baby is the best judge of a person. It is oft said that babies can see the aura, and that if a baby constantly stares at you, it means that you have a strong and vibrant aura. Whether we is aware of this or not, we all are intuitively conscious of whether a baby has taken to us or not, and if the baby starts crying in your presence and only in your presence, it can unnerve the confidence of any giant as he is slowly reduced to a heap of blubbering rubble at the whim of a mere babe. OK. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but if a baby does not like you specifically, it is a proclamation to the world and you that there is something gravely wrong with you or that you are evil. It is an absolutely awesome phenomenon and so fun to watch. (I am not being evil, being gleeful at another's misery. Babies like me and that's proof enough.)

6. The uterus really does skip a beat sometimes if you have one. 

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