i've been melancholic all day today
and i wonder why on some days i wake up with such cheer
and go through it with gratitude and grace
while others are rife with visions of the past and words that haunt
and of things i wish was no more a reality than a bad dream.
days like today when the only time i feel a tug of joy
is when i shed a tear
and i am sentient of the purity of the moment
and of the sanctity of my emotions
as i smile ever so softly and wipe away the tear.
but then a sense of transience overtakes me
and i am back in my melancholy state.
if i could i would
do away with these days
but i don't have a time machine in my backyard
or a 'Control Z' key for life at my fingertips.
if i did i would just keep the tear then
and make do without the fear.
so i want to paint my grey blue world
a fuchsia today
and paint over all the blacks and browns
to take back on another fuchsia day
when i can be thankful for my patchwork self
of black and pink and blue.
be grateful for the lessons taught
and the wisdom i have gained.
but all i want today is balance
and that's my prayer for the rest of my days.