Sunday, December 26, 2010

His-story and Her-esy

To be honest, this is just yet another saga on love. You'd think the world would have had enough of them but in all fairness, a planet that hosts so many would have as many love stories, especially on accounting for each one's version (which more often than not, differs as night and day!). And then there is a pure third person perspective, such as this one. And as much as I claim to be a person who denounces love stories and states that they are all the same, there is something beguiling about the webs that are spun in the wake of love and this intriguing phenomenon that I observed is what led me to chronicle the following. 

Sasha Susan Jacob  is the third daughter of a family of three beautiful girls and she lives at my father's, where she is currently a house guest. She is big and blonde with luscious brown eyes and the swagger of a prized catwalk model.  Now Sasha is truly a prolific member of the community. She touches the life of everyone she meets and makes a difference in her own way. While she strives to spread values that she embodies, such as goodness and cheer, all year round, side effects of contact with her do include blubbering (maybe just in me), blabbering and slobbering (again, I've been told that it's just me!).

Judy and Max are old tenants of the house and while they stopped paying rent a while back, they make up by playing security guards immaculately and subsisting only on leftovers (as opposed to Sash, who needs 3 gourmet meals a day!!!)

Now the truth of the matter is that there is no story here if I go by its classical definition, that a story is to have a beginning, a middle and an end. But there are events, conversations, characters and twists and these are what I want to recount.

Judy wandered into my home a long while back, looking for shelter and a meal in return for her services as a nightwatchwoman. Now before you bunch your brows in displeasure or raise them in disbelief, let me reassure you that Judy is a lean, mean slaughter machine. She is slim and dark with ripping muscles and a scowl that can send anyone running. And boy, can she take care of her territory! We soon found out that she was tempestuous at best and cantankerous on an average. Only our house-help, Pappu is rumored to have seen her at her worst and he seems so scarred by the incident that he refuses to look her in the eye out of fear. 

At that time, Bruno was the Rhett Butler of the village, so to speak, and on acquainting with Judy, fell madly in love and decided that at his ripe old age, she, young and nubile, was his best shot at a settled life. And thus he too started living in my humble house in the company of his dusky damsel.

Soon, Max was born into the happy household and joy abounded as two became three. Max grew into a handsome young lad, perpetually ebullient and teeming with inquisitiveness - just the child that any parent would want. He was everyone's pet and everyone loved him to bits. Until a fated November day that is. A cold day, an unfeeling day was that Tuesday. Nondescript in any way but that. But to those who noticed, there was a certain quietude in the air, a lull that to the prescient, forebode ominousness. And that was the day their conformist and linear lifestyle deviated and took another path. And it was simply Max's Oedipal plots that did the unraveling. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now Bruno had his share of wild oats that he had sown in his heydays. But he loved his wife and son and the thought of his son being a competition for his wife's attention was implausible for him. And it became his undoing. It seemed as if he knew that he was no match against his dashing, spirited offspring for the affection of his still young beau. He retreated into a world of his making, where he was young and virile, just like his son now was, and his lady was by his side. And in his quest to keep his ego intact by extracting himself from the equation, it was an unsuspecting Judy that he pushed out of his life. And it was Judy who found him lying lifeless by the river. She had always blamed his flagging spirits on his aging bones and his death confirmed it!

Now Max couldn't have hoped for a better twist in the tale as his father's death. In a guise to soothe his disconsolate mother, he fed her some great meat and poured her some fine wine and proceeded to impregnate her. And this is how Pluto, alias Kuttappan came into being.

Now Kuttappan was always a wild child! Stark, raving mad was he! And he caused every kind of trouble in the book and became the bane of his parents' existence, while passersby watched and remarked, "Serves Max right, for having treated his father so!" And they were right in a way. What goes around does come around. At least, in this case, it did.

Everyone watched as he lived a life of ruin and one day, the inevitable was uttered. "Kuttappan needs to go away. To reform school!" The words resounded painfully but there was nothing to be done. And that was the last the house saw of Kuttappan.

It was around this time that Sasha came trotting, in her pretty little clothes with her pretty big hair. And she was the much needed distraction of frolic and frivolousness. Of course there was the initial animosity induced by a need to claim territory, but soon, all could see that while Sasha was a pretty as a picture, she was also as dumb as the next blonde, and conclusively, not a threat to any. And then they started to clamour for her attention. Max, seemingly having given up on love post the disaster of a son, that his previous tryst with romance had brought upon, wanted to be Sasha's BFF and only that. He followed her around and gave her his things but not once was there an indecent proposal. And Judy, as comical as the thought is, wanted to be Sasha and this spun itself into a classic tale of the ugly duckling trying to be the swan. Because as skilled as Judy is, her looks are not her forte. The comic relief provided by this, helped ease the trauma brought on by Kuttappan's departure.

This was not to be for long, because May brought along unrest in the form of Rocky, an army brat with a bark that was bigger than his bite. And it was love at first sight for our Judy. Having had sworn of men since her romp in the hay with her progeny and the heartache it had brought her, Judy felt a stir in her heart as she beheld the golden gorgeousness that was Rocky. She left no stone unturned to make her intentions clear. She paid homage to her neighbor by visiting him daily, often with gifts of her love: a handmade corsage, a cookie halved or a prettier pebble. And he predictably paid no heed. Judy was not a looker and Rocky had his sights set only on blue blood. In this little village by the river, Sasha was the closest to that, and it was Sasha that he coveted.

Poor little Sasha who is more timid than a mouse, is scared out of her wits of Rocky and tries sincerely to stay out of his way. It was while we were waiting for this saga to unfold that we realized that Sasha is actually truly, madly, deeply heels over head in love with Max. Max, in his bid to win Sasha's friendship, possibly displayed his best side to her and this is what ensued. Sasha is now desperately trying to woo Max, often in the presence of Judy, who appears as cool as a cucumber (Judy probably thinks that this little affair would get Sasha out of Rocky's way). And Max seems almost frightened of what would ensue if he gave in to Sasha's moves as he shies away timidly from her. But I'm convinced that he secretly enjoys the attention of this stunning flaxen haired lass because of the way he ensures the maintenance of comfort in the distance. It is also not unlikely that smart alec Max is trying to kill two birds with a stone and trying to make Judy jealous, though this clearly does not seem to be working. But I bet that's what the sly creature is thinking.

But then again, who knows what dogs think!

Updates will follow in real time.




And Judy!!!!

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