Monday, October 18, 2010

Maddened by Mayo!

Inspired by my be-all and end-all of cooking, Ms.Lawson, and my current favourite television, Masterchef, I decided to make fresh Mayonnaise today. (This one was dedicated to my best friend Ms. Philip who is the only person I actually know who loves Mayo.)

Anyways, I earnestly followed Lawson's recipe that promised foolproof success (I need foolproof. I'm quite the fool in most instances.) but what resulted was runny mayonnaise that didn't quite  gel.... oops... emulsify. I don't know what I did wrong. I even warmed the bowl and the egg as instructed by the hallowed Ms. Child and reiterated by Ms. Lawson. 

The recipe follows, but if you're wondering why I am posting a recipe that worked miserably for me and cost me 225 ml of oil and 2 egg yolks, I just have to say that Ms. Lawson was probably wrong only in that the recipe is not foolproof. Maybe it will work for the rest of you.

I however acknowledge that currently, I only have an imaginary audience, and I want to pander to no such delusions that I might be inclined to indulge in, that I am being read. I grudgingly agree that even if I slander the president of a country, no persecution will follow.

I am reminded now of an episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Robin's co-star at her 4:00 AM News show, Don, in an attempt to prove to Robin that any hope she has of a viewership stems from her delusion of an imaginary audience, starts weaving in obscenities into his news reading and proceeds to smoke a cigarette. Funny. But I digress and I digress wildly.

Here is the recipe. If any of  you (imaginary people, faeries, white witches {No black witches are allowed in my court.}and goblins.) figure out what I did wrong to make it so runny, please comment!

2 egg yolks (but don't separate them just yet)
225 ml groundnut or sunflower oil
75 ml extra virgin olive oil
juice of 1/2 lemon

1. Put the eggs in their shells, in a large bowl. Fill it with warm water from the tap and leave for 10 minutes to bring the eggs and the bowl to room temperature. This is to prevent it from curdling. Take out the egg and throw away the water. Dry the bowl thoroughly.

2. Separate the eggs and whisk it with a pinch of salt.

3. After a few minutes, add the groundnut oil drop by drop. When you see it emulsifying, let the oil drip in small glugs.

4. Add the olive oil and continue beating till you have thick, smooth, firm mayonnaise.

5. Add a few squeezes of lemon juice, whisking all the time.

6. Season to your choice.

Use in a week.

For flavouring, you can add mustard (add along with the yolks) or chopped herbs.

Rest in peace my lovelies!

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